What I can offer you …
For most people, a bit of conflict is just part of life. Between parents, whanau, community groups, friends and lovers – we all have times when we need to ‘sort things out’. But many people lack the confidence or skills to have those difficult conversations.
If you are in the middle of a profound conflict that has been going on for too long, and you can’t see how to sort it out, and the situation is important to you, it is probably causing you stress. The conflict may also be affecting your health, putting a strain on your other relationships and possibly costing you money. If it involves children or other family members, your ex-partner, your business, work, an organisation or a neighbour, it can cause deep resentment and divisions – particularly when you need to be in regular contact with someone whom you have a dispute or problem with.
Mediation is a collaborative, problem solving process for people in conflict who are motivated to sort things out. It involves focusing on the issues, while treating the people respectfully. A mediator facilitates a process enabling all parties to get a better understanding of where each other are coming from and to be ‘heard’. This leaves people in a position to look for solutions that best meet the needs of everyone. It usually results in a mediated agreement that all parties sign. The beauty of mediation is that it has the possibility of transforming relationships.
Separated or separating parents
If you and your (ex) partner are in the process of separating or have already separated and you want help in your decision making process about the care of your children, I can help.
I am an accredited Family Mediator in Northland, contracted to Family Works to provide Family Court mediation. Family Court mediation is free if you qualify, and very reasonable if you don’t … READ MORE
Why choose mediation?
Mediation can happen at an early stage before a problem gets really big.
It leaves everyone in charge of the results. Each participant has decision making power. Nothing can be imposed on you.
It is flexible and humane. Mediation meetings can be held in a place and at a time that participants are comfortable with.
It is way less expensive than court! And it doesn’t rule out going to court at a later stage if you want to.
It is a confidential process. That is, what you discuss is generally protected (e.g. privileged and without prejudice) from being raised in any subsequent court or tribunal proceedings. This is a very important aspect of mediation. The confidential nature of the process encourages participants to be frank and honest with each other.
It is a voluntary process. No one can make you attend. Of course, sometimes mediation seems so much better than the alternative that a participant can feel forced to attend (e.g. you’ll lose your job, or access to your children, if you don’t).
The process helps you to customise solutions that best suit everyone.
It is satisfying to have participated voluntarily in successfully resolving issues. It is therefore more likely that participants will stick to a mediated agreement.